


Carpe Vinum

by hydrostatic_equilibrium



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol, Author Is Illiterate, Gen, Homoerotic Subtext For 500, Tattoos, When You Accidentally End Up In The Clone Wars, maybe a little too much swearing, obikin if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:41:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28313985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hydrostatic_equilibrium/pseuds/hydrostatic_equilibrium
Summary: What happens when your average college student goes a little too hard on Wine Wednesday (and somehow ends up in the Star Wars Universe)?  Well, Alice is about to find out.  Take a journey with her as she experiences a typical day in the life of your favorite trio of Prequel Jedi.  Experience the chaos of the disaster lineage first-hand on a simple trip back to Coruscant.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	Carpe Vinum

**Author's Note:**

> Okayyyy, so this was supposed to be a cute LITTLE challenge to myself just to get back into the swing of writing. Naturally, it ended up being a 8000 word monster. I created this story to encourage myself to get better at dialogue, it’s never been my strong suit (and still isn’t), but nevertheless, I hope you enjoy it. I really enjoyed writing it, and it gave me lots of inspiration to carry on writing my main fic. Hopefully you can put yourself into the shoes of Alice for a moment in time as she journeys to the Star Wars universe and experiences a day in the life of your favorite Clone Wars characters. What is it like to essentially be stuck on a road trip with Ahsoka, Anakin, and Obi-Wan? Read to find out. Also, it’s rated teen because I swear like a sailor, but there aren't really any other triggers than swearing. However, if anyone is bothered by anything please please let me know. I'll be sure to tag it ASAP :)

Alice was a dumbass. What had started out as a typical wine Wednesday had apparently turned into an acid trip? Okay, so Alice was both very confused  _ and  _ a very much a dumbass. She was pretty sure those were the only valid parameters for her current predicament. How else was she supposed to explain Anakin Skywalker hovering over her, checking her vitals. Like the whole ass Star Wars Hayden Christensen Anakin Skywalker, not some random Comic Con LARPer. So this is what a total and complete mental breakdown felt like, she thought. Huh.

Everything was hazy. Alice retraced her night, trying to regain a sliver of sanity. She and her roommate Tori had been sitting in their dorm, as one typically does in college in the middle of a pandemic. One contraband box of Franzia, and a few friends from their floor were added to the equation, but nothing too crazy, really. She had just failed an organic chemistry exam, so  _ maybe _ she had hit the “Fruity Red Sangria” a  _ little _ harder than she had intended to. But nothing to warrant the absolute disconnect from reality that her senses were currently relaying to her.

Who the hell drugged me? Alice thought to herself. After all, it didn’t feel like she was sleeping. She trusted her friends implicitly, so she wondered if it was her plug who had spiked the wine. That didn’t seem possible though because the box wasn’t open when she got it. Plus, Colin wasn’t a bad guy (even if he was a sig chi). Had she...died? She didn’t think so, that option just didn’t make any sense; yeah cheap wine gives a killer hangover, but it wasn’t  _ killer _ .

“Not to berate you or anything, but what is a human doing barely conscious on Ryloth? In the middle of a war, I might add.” Anakin said with a tinge of amusement, or maybe it was confusion. Alice’s brain short-circuited as he interrupted her musing, she panicked . Her internal monologue was something incredibly poised. Along the lines of ‘what the shit fuck hell motherfucking shit, oww my head hurts’. Her hangover wasn’t helping.

“Are you Anakin Skywalker? Like from the movies?” She responded before thinking. To be fair, she didn’t think she was capable of thinking given the circumstances. She immediately regretted her bluntness. The first words out of her mouth probably shouldn’t have established the existence of interdimensional travel, if that’s even what this was.

“Movies? I’m not sure what you mean?”

“Oh sorry, I misspoke. Basic is not my first language. I meant to say from the holo-posters” Alice thanked every deity, including the Force, that her little brother Kyle had gotten her hooked on The Clone Wars. At first she had protested. At the time she was an insecure adolescent girl, and had proclaimed herself ‘too cool to watch Star Wars’. But she was immediately hooked, and had never looked back. She had fallen in love with the stories, the characters, and the worlds. She found a lifelong role model in Ahsoka -- Star Wars had been partially responsible for her finally finding her confidence. And now (at least before the acid trip) she was working towards her degree, slowly but surely. She was no genius, but she was a good person with a decent work ethic...and now she was on fucking Ryloth, in the middle of the fucking Clone Wars.

“Oh yeah, I get it. Huttese was my first language. And yes, Anakin Skywalker, General of the Republic, nice to meet you.” He held out his hand. Alice hesitated, internally debating whether her name was too bland to be found in the Star Wars universe. Her fears quickly dissolved when she remembered the man in front of her had named his son Luke of all things.

“I’m Alice, nice to meet you.” She gave his hand a firm shake.

“So it’s none of my business, but generally when I find someone unarmed and collapsed in a heap on a planet that they aren’t native to, I have a few questions.”

“That’s...understandable.” Alice’s face lit up with embarrassment, he was essentially trolling her. She however didn’t elaborate, and after a brief pause he moved on. 

“Well if you don’t have anything to add…” He looked her up and down, “I’m quite certain that you aren’t dangerous. Would you consent to being looked over by a medic? You could be injured internally.” She was mildly insulted by the perceived lack she gave off, but figured it was valid. She was by no means out of shape, but Jedi were essentially Olympic gymnasts, fighters, and fencers all wrapped in one deadly package. She doubted she'd even be able to land a punch if street rules applied.

“That seems reasonable.” she said with a level voice, attempting to keep panic out of her tone.

“Perfect!” He gave her a smile, and helped her up.

When she reached the ship she internally screamed. Like yes, waking up in a different universe was crazy, but it sunk in even more when she saw The Resolute. It was a spaceship, a real spaceship _ ,  _ and it was  _ giant _ . Earth’s media didn’t do Star Destroyers justice, they were magnificent. Perfectly welded durasteel spanning together in aerodynamic equilibrium; its imposing frame stood strong as a symbol of freedom, displaying an Open-Circle Fleet insignia proudly on each wing. She felt sufficiently overwhelmed, but in a good way, like the perfect combo of Red Bull and espresso, leaving her buzzing and ready to take on the world. 

“Welcome to The Resolute, we’re just finishing up liberating Ryloth from the Separatists. You should have plenty of time to hit the med bay before we take off. A few more Jedi will be coming around before we depart, so if you have any questions, ask someone with a lightsaber or armor.” Alice just nodded robotically, still taking in her surroundings. “Hey Rex, have you seen Kix?” Anakin shouted towards a group of men.

“General. Sir, Kix is in the med bay patching up some brothers.”  _ The  _ Captain Rex responded with a salute. Alice was internally screaming, Rex was her favorite Clone.

“Perfect! Captain Rex, this is Alice. She needs a quick scan given that I found her passed out in a field, and she has yet to tell me why.” Alice gulped and looked down quickly. She felt kind of guilty for putting him in this situation. Rex gave her an amused look that seemed to say ‘I’m not even surprised, I don’t question the General’s antics anymore’.

“Yes sir!” Rex directed at Anakin with a salute. “Please follow me this way.” He said, turning to Alice. She obliged with his request, falling into stride at his side.

The halls of The Resolute were magical to say the least. They were astronomically better than the Star Wars recreations she loved at Disney World, it was no comparison.

“So how in the blazes did you end up in the middle of a battleground on Ryloth?” Rex asked. His amber eyes sparkled with curiosity, it was a question, not an interrogation. 

“I went to bed drunk in my home, and was woken up to General Skywalker checking my pulse.” She answered honestly --she didn’t want to lie to anyone. She also, however, didn’t want to stress them out with the whole truth. 

“Phhhwwwwww”, Rex let out a loud whistle. “Must have been some night!” He proclaimed with a laugh. Alice smiled at this, unable to contain herself.

“Yeah it really must have, I have never been to Ryloth in my life, nor have I even been on a ship.” Alice admitted, a little hesitantly. Rex’s features immediately shifted to concern. He turned and faced her, halting their progress towards the med bay.

“Wait, you mean to tell me you don’t know how you got here? You don’t even live on this planet! Do you have any credits, any way of communicating with your family, anything?” He seemed really worried on her behalf, and Alice felt the guilt rise again.

“To be honest Captain, I have nothing. If The General hadn’t found me, there’s a good chance the Separatists would’ve.” Alice stated sincerely, with a tinge of fear. It was bad enough being a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. It would have been incomprehensibly worse to be a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away in a Seperatist holding cell.

“Well that seems to be quite the situation you’ve got yourself in there kid. Let’s get to the medbay so we can get you checked over, and then we’ll just have to figure it out from there. I wouldn’t worry yourself too much though. Off the record, the Jedi may look tough, but they’re a bunch of softies. General Skywaker will probably personally escort you to the capital and make sure you get home. Where is home for you?” He motioned for them to continue walking. 

“Earth” Alice said tentatively, as she matched his stride.

“Haven’t heard of it, but then again the galaxy is kriffing huge.” He trailed off as they approached the med bay. “Oi, Kix. I’ve got a civilian for you to check over.” The serious looking Kix glanced up from a holopad. He was surrounded by clones in various states of injury, but they all appeared to be stable --an attest to his skill. “This is Alice, the General found her passed out in a battlefield with no recollection of how she got there.” Kix stood up quickly and gestured for her to sit on a cot. Rex gave her a half wave and walked back to the door.

“I need to report to the bridge, but I’ll probably see you again. If not it was nice meeting you, and I hope you find your way home!” Rex said with a kind tone and a gentle smile.

“Nice meeting you too Captain, thanks for helping me out!” She returned his smile and waved goodbye. Kix meanwhile was staring at her with barely concealed concern.

“You have no recollection of entering the battle? Or even the Ryloth?” She gave him a respectfully blank stare that answered his question. “What is the last thing you do recall?” He asked, picking up a stylus and preparing to take notes.

“I was getting drunk with my friends from school, and I went to bed --on my own planet. Next thing I know, I wake up here thinking I’ve gone crazy.” Kix looked tired, immensely tired. He sighed audibly. Alice didn’t blame him, she’d watched that man throughout the seasons of Clone Wars: he deserved a raise.

“Okay, well let's try and solve your puzzle. I am going to run some basic tests to make sure that you haven’t suffered any internal damage, specifically neurological. Have you been scanned by a med droid before?”

“No, I haven’t.” Her tone was laced with nerves. 

“That’s okay, all I’m gonna need you to do is stand upright with your hands on your head, it will conduct a full body non-invasive scan.” He stated clinically, yet in a calming tone.

“Okay, sounds good, thanks Kix!” She made it a point to be appreciative. She doubted he was thanked very often; he was the medic for very stubborn Clones, and Jedi who generally refused to admit they weren’t invincible.

The neon droid rolled over to her cot, Alice thought it was kind of cute. As it was completing its scan, she let her mind truly drift for the first time since she’d woken up. What if she were stuck here? What if this were to be her new home? Would she ever see her family again? A single tear rolled down her face. Alice wasn’t the emotional type, but she figured having an entire universe taken away from her warranted a bit of leeway when it came to tears. 

Several minutes later, the droid beeped stridently. Kix walked over. Looking at its glowing interface he relayed “Well you’re completely healthy which is relieving. There is no internal damage you need to worry about. You do, however, have some residual alcohol in your system, so let me get you some water. I also just got off comm with the General. He is sending his Padawan learner to come sort out the logistics of your situation. I don’t know all the details, but it looks like you’re coming to Coruscant with us unless you wish to stay here.” He handed her a pack of water. She sipped it gently mulling over his words --she was becoming overwhelmed again, everything was happening too fast for her to process.

“Thanks Kix, I appreciate it. Really, thank-you for doing all of this for me.” She said, sincerely. 

“It was no problem at all.” He smiled, then looked at a figure near the entrance. “And that would be the Commander. Alice, this is Commander Tano, she’s the one that will be helping you.” Alice’s jaw dropped,  _ Ahsoka Tano,  _ was standing in her presence. She didn’t know how to react, so she probably looked like a fish with her mouth gaping open. Luckily Ahsoka didn’t seem to notice.

“Hi Alice, nice to meet you, my name is Ahsoka Tano. My Master told me you appeared out of nowhere, and Rex says you’ve had a pretty eventful night. We all think it’s a good idea for us to get you to the Capital where you can find your way home. Are you okay with that?” She looked at Alice inquisitively, finally startling her out of her awe.

“Yes.” She said quietly. “I would appreciate that immensely if it isn’t too much trouble for all of you. I don’t really have a clue how to get back to my home planet.” She said sadly, but with an edge of confidence she didn’t think possible near her idol. 

“I’m sorry this is happening to you, and of course it’s not a problem, we’re Jedi. Helping people is what we do. How about you come to the commissary with me? My Masters are going to get the ship going, but they don’t need me for that, so I’m off duty!” Ahsoka said excitedly. Alice was surprised at the enthusiasm Ahsoka radiated, but she figured Ahsoka was probably just sick of being surrounded by men all day. Alice must have been intriguing for her.

“That sounds great! I’m actually pretty hungry.” Alice proclaimed, with paralleled enthusiasm. 

“Perfect, don’t get your hopes up though, commissary food is hardly better than ration bars.” Ahsoka said with a look of amused disgust. 

As they walked to the commissary Alice felt rumbling, one slight jerk later and she could tell they were in the sky. Ahsoka looked over at her, seeming to sense her trepidation.

“Oh yeah, Rex said you’d never flown before. That’s so fascinating, I’ve been flying since I was a crecheling. Don’t worry, the jump to hyperspace will be smooth with Skyguy at the helm. Well at least as long as Master Kenobi doesn’t distract him too much.” Ahsoka stated with a slight smirk. Alice wanted to know more, it was so weird being in her position. She felt like she knew Ahsoka, and had looked up to her for so long, but on the flipside she felt like she didn’t know her at all. She had been given a privilege, an honor, of seeing everyones lives through the lens of a camera, but did she truly know them? What was Ahsoka’s favorite food? What type of music did Cody listen to? When did Obi-Wan start growing his elusive beard? She concluded that she really didn’t know them, at least not the real them. Snapping out of her introspection she turned to Ahsoka.

“I’m definitely excited to fly! What’s it like being a Jedi? I’ve always really looked up to you all.” Alice stated politely.

“Honestly, I’ve been a Jedi my whole life, I don’t know what any other life would be like. I really enjoy it though, I have great men who always have my back, and two amazing Masters to help guide me…even if Skyguy can be a pain in the ass sometimes.” Ahsoka stated fondly.

“That sounds incredible! My life is so boring in comparison to yours.” Alice relayed. There was no animosity in her statement however, she respected the Jedi too much to be envious of them.

“I’m sure that’s not true, what do you do?”

“Well, I’m in school right now. I’m not really sure what I want to do afterwards, I like science a lot, so maybe I’ll try and be a doctor or a researcher. I’ve only just started school though, so I have a few years to decide!”

“Well healing is definitely not my thing, but it does take a lot of work! I’m sure you’d be great at it. And my Master is always tinkering with things, I think if he weren’t a Jedi he’d be doing some sort of mechanical research. That, or crashing lots of things involving mechanics.” Ahsoka responded kindly with a nudge of encouragement as they approached the Commissary. “Grab a tray and grab whatever you want, we can snag a table and save spots for my Masters, they should be here any minute now that we’re in hyperspace.” Ahsoka said, grabbing a tray for herself and placing a slightly glowing emerald fruit on it.

“We’re in hyperspace?” Alice responded, treading carefully around the exotic foods. She eventually decided to just grab the same things as Ahsoka.

“Yep, told you Skyguy would make it smooth. Skyguy is General Skywalker by the way, you met him earlier.”

“That makes sense. Wait didn’t you say you had another Master?” This was new to Alice, after all there had only ever been Anakin in the Clone Wars. “I thought Jedi only had one Master?” Alice relayed from memory, mildly confused.  
“Oh yeah, we do. Technically Master Kenobi is my Grand-Master, but the War makes everything a little fuzzy. I spend just as much time with him as I do Anakin, so he’s like an honorary Master. Plus, Anakin is nowhere near a fully functioning adult, and Master Kenobi is known for forgetting to eat and sleep for weeks on end. So they balance eachother out and equate to around one Master in total.” Ahsoka said laughing, yet also with pride. Alice could tell she really cared about the two. She was also fangirling so hard. She had always loved the dynamic between the chaotic trio, but hearing about it first-hand was a dream come true. As they moved to a table and sat down, she noticed all of the Clones surrounding her, full of life. She felt a sense of melancholy knowing their fates had been so woven in tragedy. She knew she really shouldn’t relay future information, the sci-fi genre had scared her straight enough to know a paradox was a bad idea, but she vowed to at least do something. She damn well couldn’t sit around knowing she had the power to save an entire galaxy if she were only to open her mouth. _That_ was a thrilling thought. Yes the Jedi and the Sith were these beautiful ethereal figures with powers beyond the scope of her wildest imagination. But she, Alice -- just Alice -- was the most powerful of them all. She knew their fate.

Snapping out of her introspection she responded to Ahsoka, “That sounds amazing, you guys must be really close.”

“Yeah definitely, they’re like my brothers.” Ahsoka replied between bites of iridescent vegetables, “People always say the Jedi don’t have families, but that simply isn’t true. Anakin is my annoying older brother. He likes to irritate me and has the maturity of a crecheling, but he will do anything to keep me safe and help me succeed. Obi-Wan is my overachieving older brother who pretends he’s super put together and wise, but really is just as much of a disaster as the rest of us. He would definitely give me a lecture on attachments if he heard me saying any of this, but he’s a hypocrite because I know he cares about me, Skyguy, and his men just as much as we care about him.” She paused and her eyes grew wide. “Oh dear Force here they come.” She said with a loud whisper looking at two approaching figures with trays. “Don’t repeat anything I just told you, Anakin will make fun of me for weeks!” Alice’s heart dropped as she saw Obi-Wan Kenobi for the first time. She squealed internally as  _ the  _ Ahsoka Tano,  _ the  _ Anakin Skywalker, and  _ the  _ Obi-Wan Kenobi sat in her presence.

“Ahsoka please tell Anakin that just because he is a Knight now does not mean he is allowed to eat garbage for dinner. I do not see one item of nutritional value on his tray!” A crisp Coruscanti accent pointed at Ahsoka. He then realized she had company, “Oh I do apologize, pardon my manners. I am Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, a pleasure to meet you.” Obi-Wan addressed Alice.

“Nice to meet you Sir, my name is Alice.” She responded with awe.

“Of course! My Padawan, the one that is eating as much of a bantha” he gestured to Anakin, “informed me of your predicament. I hope once we get to the Temple we can help you find your way home, your family must be awfully worried.” He continued, with a compassionate expression. Alice was about to respond, but was beaten to it.

“Hey! First of all, I’m not even a Padawan,  _ Master _ .” Anakin stated in playful mockery, “I’ve been a Knight for  _ ages.  _ Second of all, I am not fat, I am  _ growing _ . I know it’s hard to understand for those so vertically challenged...” Anakin retorted, but then trailed off catching Obi-Wan’s expression. Obi-Wan looked up with a glint of danger in his eyes. Ahsoka locked gazes with Alice, silently relaying that shit was, in fact, about to go down.

“I am not ‘Vertically Challenged’, I am perfectly normal! Not all of us have the misfortune of being lumbering giants with the coordination of a drunk Weequay. Honestly Anakin, air is not meant to be tripped over!”

“I don’t trip over air!” Anakin interjected defensively, “That was one time!” 

“Actually Skyguy, there was that one time last week. Ooh, and the time at the Senate when we-”

“Zip it Snips, I’m trying to win here!” Anakin interrupted her.

“You’re never going to win! There’s a  _ reason  _ they call him the Negotiator and you The Hero With No Fear.” Ahsoka stated proudly, trying not to laugh.

“Kriff those stupid nicknames.” Anakin stated under his breath.

“Anakin, language!” Obi-Wan admonished with no heat behind his words. “But yes, I agree with the sentiment.” He admitted, smiling. He then seemed to remember their guest. Turning to Alice he questioned, “So where are you from? I’d like to hear your story from your point of view, as Anakin tends to leave out the details.” He said playfully, making eye contact with Anakin rather than Alice. Anakin looked like he was going to retort, but a loud stomp that she inferred was Obi-Wan’s foot quieted him.

“Well, my home planet is called Earth. To be honest the details of what happened are kind of hazy. I was staying up late after a hard exam, and drinking with my friends. I don’t recall it getting too crazy, but one thing led to another --none of which I remember-- and poof. I’m lying in a ditch on Ryloth.” She said abashedly. Obi-Wan looked pensive.

“Situations like yours are immensely stressful, but you are handling it admirably. Though I haven’t heard of Earth, I have no doubt in my mind that we will find it in the archives. You will find your way home. Though..” He trailed off, “hopefully next time you go drinking with your friends, you don’t end up in a different star system.” Obi-Wan concluded smirking.

“Dooku, Hondo.” Ahsoka whispered under her breath while miming chugging a glass.

“What was that Ahsoka?” Obi-Wan inquired amusedly, knowing exactly what she had implied.

“Oh nothing.” She said smugly, “ I just seem to recall a certain mission with you two that involved alcohol, pirates, and a rogue Sith Lord. Maybe even handcuffs? Didn’t know you were into that.” Ahsoka said smugly. 

“Ahsoka” Anakin stated as a warning, blushing, “Watch it, or I’ll make you do archive duty.”

“I’m just saying! You guys have ended up in even sketchier situations than she has under the influence.” Ahsoka was grinning now. Alice knew she wasn’t really doing this to defend her, rather to make fun of her Masters, but she still appreciated it.

“True, which is why you’re not allowed to drink yet,  _ Padawan _ .” Anakin said with an air of superiority. 

“Why, how interesting Anakin. You don’t think Padawans should have access to alcohol.” Obi-Wan voiced sarcastically, “I seem to recall having that same rule, yet, for some reason, I don’t seem to recall you following it.” he continued, “Ah yes, I remember it more clearly now! You comming me from the lower levels speaking nothing but Huttese at a Sithly hour. Imagine my astonishment when I found you, not asleep in your room in the Temple, but rather wearing nothing but a sheer tunic and proclaiming your undying love for the male bouncer of an Exotic Dancing establishment!” Ankakin was beet red now, he seemed to just accept the fact that he was going to be utterly roasted.

“In my defense, he was probably really cute.” Anakin replied cheekily, with an overly exaggerated wink.

“Anakin, he was purple and he had eight arms!” Obi-Wan rebutted dramatically, rolling his eyes pointedly. Ahsoka was in hysterics. Anakin looked like he was regretting existence, like he wanted to disappear. “And that, my young Ahsoka, is why you do not drink Twi’lek liquor, or any alcohol before you are a Knight for that matter. Force knows what sort of diseases and germs Anakin picked up from his late night  _ excursions _ .”

“Hey! Okay, yes, maybe I shouldn’t have done stupid stuff, but I wan’t doing  _ that  _ type of stupid stuff! I was just drinking, I promise.” Anakin looked at Obi-Wan with embarrassment. Alice could tell he was being truthful, but the whole exchange was still hilarious. 

“I know Anakin, you just make it so easy. You’re so reactionary.” Obi-Wan admitted.

“He’s right Skyguy, you get defensive super easily.” Ahsoka corroborated. Anakin looked crestfallen, like a kicked puppy.

“Hey now, there’s no need for that.” Obi-Wan began, addressing his pouting, “Your accomplishments far outweigh a few drunken nights as a Padawan. You are an incredibly powerful Jedi, and a good person. I’m very proud of you!” He said with confidence. Anakin looked at his Master with pure adoration. Ahsoka mimed throwing up at Alice.

“Making fun of Skyguy was fun, but you just ruined it.” Ahsoka said to Obi-Wan.

“Hold on now, I didn’t ruin it, he was getting sad. And when Anakin gets sad he disassembles droids, so really I’m doing your feet a favor young Ahsoka. You’d’ve been tripping over spare parts for days.” He addressed his Grand-Padawan with a hint of sass.

“I’m right here you know!” Anakin finally interjects.

“We know!” Said both Ahsoka and Obi-Wan simultaneously, before turning back to each other and laughing. Alice was glowing, she felt honored to see a little sliver of their lives. It was beautiful, she thought. There was so much pure happiness before their galaxy plunged into darkness. 

“Excuse me, but how long is the flight to Coruscant?” Alice asked, wanting to induce further conversation. She was soaking up her interactions with the disaster lineage like a sponge.

“Well usually it would take four hours, but I found this really interesting tweak you can make on the hyperspace generator, so it’s now only three.” Anakin replied with pride.

“Anakin, what have I told you about unsanctioned  _ improvements _ on military ships?” Obi-Wan warned playfully, but with serious undertones.

“Something along the lines of ‘Why thank you my favorite Knight for saving my life on countless occasions with your ingenious improvements upon our military vessels.’” Anakin dramatically retold.

“No, most definitely not. Must I remind you of the time th-” he cut himself off, “wait hang on, what do you mean ‘ _ our _ ’, what in the blazes have you done to my ship Anakin Skywalker!” His tone was very exasperated, and Ahsoka looked amused.

“Nothing, nothing, nothing at all. The Negotiator is doing just fine, she just needs a tune up every now and then.” Anakin said sarcastically. “It’s not like she’d be falling apart without my constant attention to repairs or anything. Nope.” Obi-Wan looked shocked.

“You mean to tell me that my ship is only in operation due to your care? And you neglected to tell me about it. Not even a single brag or comment? I don’t know whether to yell at you or thank you.” Obi-Wan stated with an air of surprise.

“Neither Master, I was really just doing myself a favor. If your ship went down in the middle of battle, then I’d have to come rescue you, and that’s a lot of work. Plus, you fly slower than Yoda, so I had to make the ship fly faster to compensate for your elderly disposition.” Anakin said mockingly, but Alice could tell there was an undercurrent of care, he definitely wanted to make sure Obi-Wan was safe.

“Suuure, that’s your reason Skyguy.” Ahsoka seemed to be on the same wavelength as Alice.

“It is!” Anakin replied indignantly, with pink cheeks. Obi-Wan seemed caught off guard.

“Well.” He paused, ignoring the ab about his age, “Regardless of your reasoning Anakin, thank you. I should know better than to question your mechanical prowess. You’re leagues ahead of even the best Temple mechanics.” Ahsoka gagged at their interaction again. 

“Thanks Obi-Wan, I appreciate the vote of confidence.” Anakain replied, his eyes were sparkling. Alice and Ahsoka just sat there, observing.

“Well...As cute as this little interaction has been, I think I’m going to show Alice around the ship for a bit. I’ll see you on the bridge later.” Ahsoka interjected, breaking apart their moment. Alice was grateful for the distraction, she was so confused as to how Anakin and Obi-Wan were behaving, in Earth media they had always been portrayed as close, but this? This was practically flirting, it threw her for a loop. She had always imagined Kenobi to be the perfect Jedi, fond of others, but free of attachment. Now, now she didn’t know. As they exited the Commissary, Ahsoka turned to her and stated, “Sorry you had to deal with that, my Masters are  _ so  _ dramatic sometimes.”

“It’s okay, they seem really close, it’s sweet!” Alice responded.

“Ugh, don’t even get me started on them. They exist in their own world, sometimes they let people into the Kenobi-Skywalker bubble, but only to briefly observe. I swear, half the time I can’t even tell their Force signatures apart, and their bond has only grown stronger throughout the war!”

“Is that bad?” Alice was curious.

“Well if you ask me, no. It’s good for them, they’re happy. The Council may have a different opinion on the matter, but they’re a bunch of boring old Banthas.” She immediately looked shocked at her own words, her head whipped around quickly to see if anyone had overheard. “Kark, I didn’t mean that, you didn’t hear me say that, and that didn’t happen.” Alice laughed.

“I heard nothing, nothing at all. What were we even talking about, I can’t remember? Something about your Masters, but the rest is all a blur.” Ahsoka chuckled at her response.

“Thanks. I need to work on my brain to mouth filter, Master Obi-Wan is always lecturing me about it. It’s not my fault though when I have Anakin as a role model. The day he thinks before talking is the day Mustafar freezes over.” Alice’s heart dropped at the sheer truth of her words, and the mention of the planet of his fall. It was Anakin’s impulsivity that caused his eventual descend, and here Ahsoka was joking as if it weren’t a deadly character flaw. “Anyways, want to go to the barracks? I heard Fives and Jesse were trying to convince Rex to get a tattoo!” Ahsoka gasped excitedly.

“Sure that sounds like fun!” She proceeded to follow her guide further into the ship. As they approached the barracks Alice heard a loud voice.

“Get that needle the blazes away from me Fives, I’ve already told you I’m not gonna get a tattoo, and if I were it sure as kark wouldn’t be from you!” Rex exclaimed. Ahsoka laughed as she walked in. “Oh umm Commander, sorry Sir. Rex immediately stood at attention, as did the other Clones.”

“At ease.” Ahsoka stated, still laughing. “Now what is this I hear about tattoos?”

“We think Rex needs one, Sir.” said Jessie, looking up from a folder of design ideas.

“I think so too Jessie. I would get one too if Anakin wouldn’t kill me for it.” She mused with annoyance, “Rex what about something small?”

“With all due respect Commander, I don’t trust this idiot” he gestured towards Fives “With a tattoo gun, he can barely hold his blaster correctly!”

“Hey! I knocked out more clankers than you today and you know it Vod.” Fives replied indignantly. 

“Well what about if I gave you a tattoo, I’m a Jedi, I have a steady hand.” Ahsoka said confidently. Rex looked at her with anything but confidence.

“Have you ever done a tattoo before Commander?” he asked questionably, “Not that I don’t think you’re qualified Sir.” He quickly followed with.

“No.” Ahsoka stated, with slightly less confidence, “But it can’t be that hard.” Rex looked categorically unenthusiastic, but knowing how much he cared for Ahsoka in the show, Alice knew he would cave in. She had an idea.

“Ahsoka, what if you gave me a tattoo first?” Alice questioned, “That way, if you mess it up, you’ll know how to fix it later for Rex’s.” Alice theorized. Ahsoka looked surprised.

“Are you sure, I mean tattoos are permanent, what if you don’t like it?” Ahsoka reasoned.

“Yes but for me it’s more about the story behind it. I’d rather have a bad tattoo to commemorate a good story, than a good tattoo that’s meaningless. And I’d like to commemorate this: the time I was rescued by the Jedi and 501st far far away from my home.” She said with a smile. Ahsoka looked touched.

“I’d love to give you a tattoo Alice!”

Turning to Rex, Alice stated “So Captain, what are we getting?” Rex still looked nervous, but his expression revealed that he had definitely accepted his fate of getting tatted.

“How about something small? The Open Circle Fleet Insignia? That way I’ll always have a memory of my Jedi and my brothers, and you will carry the symbol of those who saved you. Is that okay?” Rex asked unsure of himself.

“Sounds perfect!” Alice beamed, and pulled up her right sleeve. “Ahsoka could you do my wrist?”

“Of course!” And she got to work.

Two impeccable insignias, and half an hour later left Alice with a powerful addition to her wrist, and Rex his shoulder. She absolutely loved it.

“And to believe you ever doubted me Rex.” Ahsoka said teasingly. Rex looked like he was about to reply in defense, but Ahsoka continued. “Anyways, Alice we should get back to the Dramatic Dyad, we’re gonna be landing soon and you’ll love seeing it from the bridge!” Ahsoka gushed.

“Okay sounds good! It was great hanging out with you all, thanks for making my first space flight super fun!” She waved goodbye to the Clones she had met, wondering how many of them she could save. A tinge of sadness washed over her.

As they approached the bridge Alice stopped in awe. The distortion of hyperspace was clearly visible now that she had emerged from the innards of the ship. It was majestic, like the Aurora Borealis on Earth. The streaks of blue seemed to move faster than light, yet also not at all --they played tricks on her eyes. She also saw Anakin and Obi-Wan, side by side, bickering over a holomap of stars.

“No Anakin, I will not consent to this. You’re  _ not  _ harnessing the gravitational pull of the Correllian Sun to slingshot us into oblivion just because you think it will be ‘fun’” Obi-Wan stated exasperatedly.

“But it will only take an extra ten minutes and one hyperspace alteration, you’ll barely even notice! I just want to see if I can do it. Plus, we don’t have another mission lined up, so if I damage her a little bit, I’ll have time to repair her!” Anakin replied in a whiny tone. Alice and Ahsoka gave each other a pointed look, then approached them.

“Are you trying to kill us again Master?” Casually stated Ahsoka, as she slid onto a stool surrounding the main map.

“Yes!”

“No!”

“Anakin is attempting to take us along on another one of his ‘flying adventures’, you know the ones that are responsible for all of my gray hairs.” Obi-Wan deadpanned.

“Master, I’ve never once crashed a Star Destroyer-”

“And today is not the day to break that streak. Please, you’ve prematurely aged me enough Anakin.”

“Don’t be ridiculous Obi-Wan, you don’t even have any gray hair” Anakin grabbed his head and proceeded to theatrically inspect it, “You’re not even old. I bet if you shaved your beard, you’d even look my age.”

“Perish the thought. The beard makes me look distinguished. Plus, that’s not what you were saying earlier today when you compared me to Yoda.”

“I meant your flying, not you. You always look great.” Anakin responded, not seeming to realize his words.

“Oh I do, do I.” Obi-Wan stated with playful amusement. Anakin floundered.

“I mean- ummm...yeah the holonews- uh, the holo news is always talking about it, you know. And they know about these things.” Anakin recovered, fooling no one.

“I see.” Obi-Wan's eyes shimmered with mirth. “Naturally, the holonews is always correct. They must have also been correct last week when they ran that article about how you and Senator Binks were expecting your third illicit child. I hear you’re supposedly planning to keep the youngling hidden away on a moon of Endor. Naturally you and your husband have my warmest congratulations.” Obi-Wan sassed expertly.

“They said WHAT!!!” Anakin shouted.

“Wait, I have to see this” Said Ahsoka, expertly slicing through a holopad while bending over laughing, looking for last week’s headlines. “Aha! Found it!” She cleared her throat dramatically, “Anakin Skywalker, golden boy of the Jedi Order, and his steamy secret love affair with a handsome eligible Gungan. I am here to give you the scoop, the knowledge, the facts about their sordid relationship spanning nearly a decade. It all started when-” Ahsoka was cut off by Anakin essentially tackling her to remove the holopad from her person. They collapsed onto the floor fighting over it in between bouts of laughter. Obi-Wan observed the entire interaction looking fondly at the two.

“If you two are quite done being uncivilized, we have now passed Corellia, so no gravity slingshots today Anakin.” Obi-Wan had won, Alice wasn’t surprised. Anakin had finally secured the holopad, and he stood while powering it off.

“Awww, it would’ve been so much fun.” He pouted, he didn’t seem too disappointed however. 

“Regardless, we are landing soon, why don’t you and your Padawan take pilot and co-pilot while I talk to Alice.” He conceded happily, knowing they would enjoy the flying more.

“She’s your Padawan too Obi-Wan.” Anakin retorted.

“True!” Ahsoka piped in. Obi-Wan looked as if he was going to lecture them on propriety, but then just smiled and shooed them away.

“I will need you to come with me when we land to report to the Jedi Council regarding your situation. You won’t have to enter the Council chamber for something this minor, but I’ll want you to wait outside of it in case they have any questions for you.”

“Okay, thank-you for helping me General Kenobi. I really appreciate it!”

“It is no trouble at all. Plus, your presence was good for Ahsoka, the war has been hard on our youngest. It’s good for her to be around another girl her age, it gives her time to just be a teenager, not a warrior.”

“I’m glad I could help, Ahsoka is great, she’s the type of person I would love to be friends with if our circumstances were different.” Alice said honestly, wondering for a second what Ahsoka would be like if she were on Earth, a college student just like herself.

“You will always have a friend in Ahsoka, and a friend in the Jedi. Come now, we are about to land.” Alice heard a hiss as the landing wheels were released. Obi-Wan guided her to the entrance as the ship touched down and began to slow on the runway. As the door began to open she hesitated.

“Would it be okay if I said goodbye to Ahsoka before leaving?” She asked Obi-Wan. The Togruta had taken her under her wing for the entirety of the journey, and she would really miss her -- more than the others.

“It seems she may have beat you to that.” He responded, gesturing behind her. Alice turned to see Ahsoka and Anakin.

“General Skywalker, thank you for rescuing me, I am forever in your debt and will never forget your kindness.” She said to Anakin. She then turned to Ahsoka, “Commander Tano, thank-you so much for showing me around, and even giving me my first tattoo!” Obi-Wan looked like his face was about to hit his palm when he heard this statement. “You’re an incredibly gifted Padawan, and I’ll always remember the fun adventure we had together. You’re a real friend.” Alice was surprised when Ahsoka hugged her, she didn’t think she’d had that much of an impact on the teen. 

“I’ll miss you Alice! The flight was way less boring with you along. I had a great time and will remember you every time I see Rex’s shoulder.” She winked ominously while grinning widely. Obi-Wan looked even more disconcerted by this statement, but still refrained from commenting.

“Well Alice and I must see the Council. Anakin, I expect you there in an hour’s time to help me with the debrief, do  _ not  _ fall asleep and make me do all of it again.” Anakin looked abashed, and gave Obi-Wan a nod of affirmation. Alice finally took the time to process her surroundings as she was walking with Obi-Wan. The Jedi-Temple was stunning, both inside and out. It radiated calmness in a way she didn’t know was possible. It was elaborate, but in a conservative manner. Everything was constructed with care, and its splendor was simply a byproduct of this. Obi-Wan guided her to a bench and told her to wait. He entered the Council Chamber alone.

Outside she pondered as the minutes passed. Would she really be able to go home? Was there even a possibility of it? What would happen if she couldn’t? How was she going to help this world if she could go home? She couldn’t just leave them to their destiny. She fiddled with a pocket in her hoodie, a nervous tick from High School Band practice, outside in the cold. She then noticed a small journal, with a pen, one she carried around for monotonous things back on Earth.

Writing would pass the time. She unwrapped its leather ties, and ripped out the first few pages which were used up with doodles and grocery lists. She began: 

‘ _ Dear Fulcrum,  _

_ I hope this book finds you well and doesn’t scare you too much. I don’t really know how to say this, but I know you, or at least parts of your life to come. You are the right person to have this information, don’t think otherwise, you are the right choice. But first let me prove myself. _

_ In a few weeks time, Cad Bane will steal something important, I don’t want to relay what in case this falls into the wrong hands. In a few more weeks time a large creature will attack all and wreak havoc in its wake, it is called a Zillo Beast. I pray that I am wrong, that the future I have seen does not align with yours; but if these two events come to pass, know that I am right, and know that you must stop the future. _

_ Trust the Order, but be wary of others in high positions. If you are wronged, remain in the Order, it is better in the long run, if not for you, for the galaxy. Watch your true Master, don’t let him and your other Master drift apart. Your true Master should avoid anyone from Naboo, on principle. If you hear of any plans with said people, divert, distract, and disaude. If you do all of these things, the galaxy may be saved. I don’t want to say anymore, this cannot fall into the wrong hands. Memorize and burn. _

_ With Hope, _

_ The One You Marked’ _

There, Alice bound the book tightly in its leather wrappings. She prayed it would be enough. She was debating scrapping the idea altogether, and just barging into the council room with all of her secrets when the door opened. Obi-Wan emerged looking pensive. Other Jedi also emerged eyeing her curiously. 

“Alice, your planet must be something really special, because when I told the Grandmaster of the Order about your situation, he demanded to speak with you instantly.” He is in the Chamber alone, you may enter. Alice was worried, what if Yoda for some reason decided to kill her? Did he know Earth knew their futures, did  _ he  _ foresee their futures? She nodded at Obi-Wan, but then halted before him.

“Take this please. Give it to Ahsoka and tell her to open it somewhere private, please.” She must have sounded grave enough, because he took the journal with a wordless nod.

“Better not keep the Grandmaster waiting, it was a true pleasure getting to know you young Alice. May the Force be with you.” He nodded at her and retreated before she could respond. She cautiously approached the Council doors, they opened on their own accord.

In front of her in the center of the chamber was Yoda, he looked pensive. Alice gulped, his silence unnerved her.

“Earth you say. Your planet, that is?” Yoda questioned.

“Yes Master, my planet is called Earth.” Alice responded, her voice shaking.

“Curious, that is. Not in this galaxy it is, hmmmmm.” He said in an accusatory tone.

“No Master. I don’t know Master. In school we learned our Galaxy was called the Milky Way. I don’t know Master.” She babbled inelegantly.

“Know of Earth, I do. It is connected to us through an object, but exist there, the Force does not. Know of one other from Earth, I do. Help him return, I did. A long time ago, it was.” He replied. Relief washed over Alice, this was the best news she’d heard since she had woken up.

“You can help me! Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you Master!” She beamed down at him.

“Simple, it is. A holocron, you must touch. But curious, it is. You are no thief.” Alice wasn’t following.

“Master? I’m not quite sure what you mean?” She replied honestly. Yoda appeared to reach out into the Force. The room rumbled as he pulled up a section of the middle of the floor. A glowing purple holocron emerged.

“Two holocrons this vault once held. They moved space”, he gestured to the purple one, “and time. Returns any being to where it belongs, the space one does. Less dangerous, it was. Showed any sentient the past, present, and future, the time one did. A danger to all, if in the wrong hands.” Yoda paused looking pensive. “Until, to the Temple a young lost boy came. From Earth he was, needed the space holocron, he did. Helped him return, I did. Didn’t realize until it was too late, until he was gone. Had taken the time holocron, George did. Could see the future of our galaxy, but into his own could not. Holocrons need the Force, and Force there is not in your Universe. So stole a rock, he did. Ahhahhaha, a rock. Meant to use in his galaxy, or meant to save ours I know not. But gone it is, and gone George is. On Earth he is, with knowledge of us, when need it most, we do. The dark clouds the light, how to move forward, I know not. But now, return you must, and look to the Force we must.” Yoda said sadly. Alice didn’t know what to say, she hoped what she had told Ahsoka was good enough, but she just didn’t know.

“I am sorry that George stole your Holocron. If I ever see him on Earth, I will tell him your tale. I will tell him that when the Jedi needed the holocron most, he doomed their future. I will make him pay for his wrongs.” Alice said, with confidence.

“Your time to return it is, thank you I do for this pledge. Place your hand on the holocron, you must. Return, you will.” Alice walked over to the holocron, but hesitated. She looked to Yoda one last time.

“Don’t trust Chancellor Palpatine” She slammed her hand on the holocron. The last image she saw before her vision turned to darkness, was his expression of pensive shock.

**_Beep beep beep_ **

“Alice shut that damn thing off.” Tori’s annoyed tone permeated their dorm room. Alice was disoriented, what a weird dream that had been. It felt so real. Shutting off her phone alarm, she looked at the time. It was nearly noon, and she had to get to work at one. Jumping out of bed, she took in her appearance in their mirror. An oversized hoodie, and sweats --exactly what she was wearing the night before. She grabbed her hairbrush, but the movement hiked her sleeve up. She dropped her hairbrush in shock. On her right wrist was a symbol, an expertly drawn symbol, tattooed permanently into her pale skin, stark in contrast. She collapsed to the floor in panic. It was real.  _ It was ALL real. _

She needed to do three things. One, she needed to call into work; she was in no mental state to waitress. Two, she needed to write down every detail of what she remembered, she never wanted to forget this, ever. And three. She needed to buy a sledgehammer to go knock George Lucas’ door off of its hinges. After all, she had made a promise. They needed to  _ talk. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
